Exhibit A: Forest Freaks in their Natural Habitat
Deep in the desolate woods, there resides a strange subcultural species of human. The forest freak is a type of person who loves nature, specifically, forests. These “freaks” are passionate about the environment and going green. A forest freak would not think twice about hugging a tree or talking to a leaf. Many live in tree houses or small shacks in forests out side a big city. They are kind to animals; especially owl, deer, fox, bird, cat, horse, and bear. Forest freaks are specialized in many trades such as cooking, tracking, and crafts. The lifestyle is a simple and down-to-earth one. Clothes, jewelry, books, art, candles, tools, and more are handmade. Granola, a special type of bracelet made from hemp string and wood beads are used for bartering in the community. The fashion of forest freaks tends to be in shades of brown and green, with leaf and tree motifs to show admiration for nature. Sandals and hiking boots are required footwear, for the freaks enjoy hiking and camping in the river or mountains. Other sports enjoyed within the community are yoga, bicycling, archery, and climbing. The food of the forest tends to be vegetarian. Berry wraps, acorn cookies, homemade bread, juice, honey, and cheese are the primary foods of this culture. Lots of forest freaks like to read and share books. Henry David Thoreau’s Walden; a Life in the Woods is like a bible to these people. Many write their own guidebooks on how to survive in the woods, complete with illustrations and samples of local flora and fauna. The music of this group is mellow indie folk. The bands Forest: Full Circle, The Antlers, The Pixies, and the Willowz are popular with the forest folk. Many prefer making music with friends and family communally than listening to the radio. This grassroots movement of forest freaks is sprouting up all over the world. These friends of the forest have but one goal: to bring awareness about life in the forest and how to save it to the world!