Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Legend of the Leprechaun Ear

Happy St. Patrick's Day, friends, freaks, and fanatics of the forest!  

This morning I got up and started cooking for my annual St. Patty's Bash.  On the Irish itinerary was listening to the song 'Kicking Stones' by the Monkees...

on a giant toadstool stood a teeny-tiny gnome
and from his pipe came magic music like I never heard!
he said the party's over please come back in 1,000 years...

I started daydreaming and thought, what if once every thousand years, a real leprechaun would show itself on St. Patrick's Day?

I went to cooking and made the food for the party: bangers & mash, soda bread with a cheese spread, lucky cabbage pasta, cornbread with green bell peppers, tie-dyed blue and green muffins, candy...

The wooden television played Darby O'Gill and the Little People, a classic Disney movie about an Irish fairytale...As I cut up the bell peppers for the cornbread, I found the most magical treasure:

A leprechaun's ear.
A leprechaun's ear?
A leprechaun's ear!

You see, it is whispered on the wind that if you find a leprechaun's ear on St. Patrick's Day and whisper one wish into it, and do not utter a single complaint that day...you will be granted the wish.

I whispered "I wish to see a real leprechaun..." and held that ear in my pocket all night.
To catch a leprechaun one must wait patiently...

Luckily, I know the secret to catching a leprechaun.  One must cook the legendary 'Pot O' Gold" and you must make it just right: big, round buttery gold sweet potatoes, real Irish cheddar cheese, no skins, and piping hot.  Place the pot near a tree and wait...

When the leprechaun goes for the pot o; gold, turn around behind the tree...

And you will see a real leprechaun!

Remember, forest folks, this phenomenon is only possible once every 1,000 years!

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